you don't mind walking in frozen bird s**t barefoot

everything you do is "in 2..."

you need to have a small pushy person around telling you what to do all the time

you can get up, get dressed and get out of the dorm before your eyes are fully open

the phrase "cox box" doesn't make you giggle

you believe the world wouldn't exist without spandex

you only recognize your friends from behind

when you need to go anywhere, you have a sudden urge to throw your car over your shoulder

before you go anywhere, you are at Main 20 minutes early

you stick water bottles in your shorts for no reason at all

you feel naked without clothing enough for 10 people on

you believe all authority figures carry a megaphone

you sit in class leaning to your rigger

half your body is bigger than the other

you blame bad moods on "the set"

when your play softball at your company picnic you are psyched to get old people on your team for the age handicap

your friends need a rowing translator to decipher your language

you can wear the same thing every morning for a week and not think twice

you think sleeping late is waking up at 8:30

everything's a race: you walk quickly to class, just so you can pass people

when someone mentions a wake, you turn parallel and set up for it

when you sit down in class, you look for the tie-in shoes

you constantly check the tightness of nuts in handrails, chairs, door handles, etc

you think gloves are for sissies, but a nice pair of poogies is really stylin'

you bring up the beauty of the dawn, and people give you blank stares

overhearing people talk about how little sleep they got causes you to smirk, and maybe get medieval on their ass

your vision of going away for the weekend is other people's vision of Hell

you admire the man who wears boxers under his spandex much more than a woman wearing a g-string under hers

you watch videos together, and it's ok to say "She's looking really long"

you know more than 4 brands of port-a-johns by name

you're giving directions to a friend and you wonder why she's looking at you funny, until you realize you just said "turn to port" instead of "take a left"

you dress and undress one-handed so you don't have to take your hand off the oar

every time you sit in a chair you are mildly surprised to discover that it doesn't slide back and forth